Moments 7 and 8

So these next two moments are not easy for me. See, I usually don’t like to think about things that hurt. I just try to ignore them so I don’t have to feel pain. But I’ve come to realize that it is far better to feel the pain and remember then to forget. So here I go……

7. September 14^th – John’s cancer

Today Jesse got a call from his mom. She wanted to come to our house to tell us something. We were at lunch at Taqueria so we told her to meet us at our house at 1pm. We knew it wasn’t good news. When we got home John and Nancy were waiting outside. We went inside and sat down. Nancy looked and John and said, “Why don’t you tell them”. John proceeded to tell us that the reason he had been sick the last month or so was because his cancer was back and it didn’t look good. They didn’t know many details at the time but he told us he didn’t want to fight it. That he had lived a good life, was happy, and proud of his children. I remember looking at Jesse and he didn’t say anything. All I could think was how much he wanted to be a grandfather and he wouldn’t get that change. I looked at Nancy and she was crying. I couldn’t believe this was happening. They got up to leave and Jesse and I gave dad a hug and told him we loved him. And as he turned to walk out the door we heard him start to cry. After they left, we sat silently for what seemed like hours, crying.

8. October 14^th – John passes

Oh boy, where to start. Jesse went with Steven to Stockton to look at shoes. I was at home watching TV. Over the past 4 weeks I have been on edge. John was getting worse and every time Nancy called, I thought it was “the call”. Well today Nancy called me, upset. She said she and Aunt Michelle took dad to the hospital and it wasn’t looking good. She told me to get down there quick and tell Jesse and Joe. I got in my car and started driving to the hospital. I got to the ICU and called Jesse and he was just leaving Stockton. Jerry and Nikki were also on their way from San Francisco. We were all able to be with dad. Lena left work and came, and my mom came for a little bit. Dad was having such a hard time breathing. He only had strength the breath. He could barely talk. Lots of family and friends came to the hospital to see him and be a support for us. Finally they put him in a room and we all took turns staying with him. I told myself I did not want to be there when he passed. I didn’t think I could handle it. But we turned on some praise music and prayed and read scripture. After about an hour, he went to be with his heavenly father.

This is one of the difficult things I’ve gone through. Sometimes it’s the hard things in life that you experience that end up being good in the end. We knew he wasn’t in pain anymore and that he was with Jesus. I’m glad we could be there with him till the end. John was surrounded with love.